Tuesday, January 12, 2010


Last night I put dinner in the oven and was getting ready to do the shred. Steve was home and didn't have any school stuff, so I asked if he wanted to do it with me. While he was on break from school we talked about cycling together (we have a stationary bike and road bikes and a bike trainer) and doing the shred together, but never got around to it so I thought he'd be up for it. But no, he talked about how he was afraid if he did it his back would hurt the next day. Granted, he does have some bad back and pain issues, but I truly feel like if he would just start to exercise regularly it would get better, not worse. I know there's some truth to his reason, but mostly I feel like it's an excuse.

He's gotten on my case so many times about how he wants to eat healthier and exercise and he feels like I'm the one always dragging my feet about it. However, I'm the one who lost 27 pounds once before (although I gained it all back plus another two pounds) and now I'm working on losing it again and then some and keeping it off. Meanwhile, he's basically stayed roughly the same throughout that entire time (maybe even gained a bit, not really sure since he doesn't weigh himself much at all) and never really changed anything about his habits. He still ate what he want and didn't exercise even though he had talked about wanting to make some big changes.

It's just frustrating, because I know he's unhappy and wants to make changes, but then he doesn't ever act on it and actually try to eat fewer calories or exercise. I love him to death and just want him to be happy, you know. I really think that if I stick with it and continue to progress and stick with my healthy eating and exercise plan that eventually he'll start to follow suit. I just wish he would have looked at last night as an opportunity to do something about it, even if it was just for one day. Oh well. I just need to focus on myself and hopefully my changes will inspire him to make his health a priority in the near future.


  1. Oh, I hear you! *sigh* My other half is unhappy with his weight (and he's gained quite a bit since he was laid off in July); he talks about cutting back portion sizes, cutting out the pop/iced tea, and exercising, but he only sticks with it for a couple of weeks. He admitted to me a month or so ago that he was "afraid" to try lest he lose more/faster than I and discourage me. At the time, I felt bad that he thought I'd place my pride above his health, but after the umpteenth false start on his part, I'm kinda feeling like a convenient excuse, you know?

    I just want him healthy because I want him around for another 60 years. :(

  2. I know. I know. If you read my guest post at Jack's place, then you know that I know.

    But here's a thought. Maybe since he's worried about his back, you could suggest some abs video work. Just to get him started and in the swing. A baby step, if you will. Because the best thing for a bad back is strong abs.

  3. I knew there'd be some people who'd be going through the same thing. And I definitely second that I want him healthy so he'll stick around longer. He's still somewhat young, but he's 8 years older than me already. But the main reason I want him to get healthy is so he'll be happy. He gets so down on himself and there's nothing I can say to make him feel better. The only thing that would make him feel better is if he actually took some weight off.

    I did read your guest post, now that you mention it. I remember you talking about how you had to plan everything and get all the healthy food and plan the meals and I am right there with you. It's funny because he used to be my partner in that arena, but since he's started grad school and hasn't had as much time too cook it's like he forgot how. He literally had a meltdown one night until I told him what to cook.

    I actually suggested that he do the video with me and just not do any moves that he thought might hurt his back. It's really more his neck actually, his has two herniated discs at the very top of his spine.

    He was originally put on physical therapy a few years ago and used to play on a soccer league religiously so I know he's capable of doing a lot, but in the past year and a half or so he's dwindled down to pretty much nothing. We also did a lot of cycling this summer. We'd go out on our road bikes and go for 25 mile rides. He rarely ever complained of any pain, so I definitely think for the most part it was an excuse the other night.

    Oh well. I just have to keep trucking along and hopefully, eventually he'll find some motivation somewhere in himself to get moving. It's in there somewhere, I know it, but right now he's just not feeling it.