Monday, December 20, 2010

The Holidays Are HARD

This is my first holiday single in 5 years and let me tell you it is HARD! Everywhere you turn there are families, ads about what to buy for your husband/wife and lifetime Christmas movies, lol. On top of that it's my favorite holiday and it is definitely hard to be spending this year alone. Not to say that my friends and family aren't great, because they certainly are. And I won't be alone I'll be surrounded by my family and I'm sure come Friday when I'm with family I'll be fine, but right now it is tough. I want nothing more than to be married and have a family of my own and I know it'll happen for me when it's meant to.

That said I've got a lot to be grateful for. I've got family and friends that love and support me. I've got my dogs, which I thank god for. Going through a time in my life such as this it helps more than I can ever express to have the unconditional love that I get from them. It may sound silly to someone without pets, but having them has definitely helped me get through some of the tough moments over the past six months. I have a roof over my head, food in my fridge and clothes on my back.

I just need to remind myself to appreciate all of the things I have in my life. I am a good person, with a good heart and in time I will get all of the things I deserve. Enough talk of this, I just needed to get my feelings out there. I hope you all have a wonderful holiday and appreciate all of the blessings you have in your life.

Friday, December 17, 2010

Weigh In and Update

I'm sorry my posts have been so sporadic over the past months. To be honest I've been lacking motivation to really got down to business and get serious again. And because of that I've felt like I didn't have much to post on a healthy living blog short of spitting out a bunch of malarkey to you all. That said I have started to make some changes, so I can start moving the scale in the right direction again.

First things first, I weighed in this morning. I weigh 178.0 lbs. I'm up since my last weigh in, but I've been at this weight for a while now. Since I am finally making some changes, hopefully we'll see a loss next week.

Regarding some of the changes I'm making one of the big changes is with my diet. I've decided to take a page from Elle, a prior fat girl's book. She focuses on eating healthfully, getting lots of fruits and vegetables and lean protein, and doesn't count calories. I think it's important that I do it this way this time around, because 1. eating lots of fruits and vegetables is good for your health and 2. this is a life change I've been working on and that's the way I should be eating for the rest of my life. I went grocery shopping recently and bought tons of fruits and veggies and have already been hitting them up rather than the crap food I was eating. I also made a batch of "healthy" cookies. Now don't get me wrong, I realize that eating cookies isn't a great thing when you're trying to lose weight, but I have a major sweet tooth and I feel if I don't give myself a little something to look forward to at the end of the night then that's when I'll end up wanting to cheat. Plus making them myself I know they're much better for me than if I bought some processed crap at the store to satisfy my sweet craving.

Another thing is of course exercise. Since I've had back problems I have been seeing a physical therapist and yesterday he kicked my butt! I'm finally pain free, a little tight sometimes, but most of the time pain free, he really started to push me to help me see what exercises I could do to start to strengthen my back and my core so I don't have any back problems in the future. This morning I can definitely feel it. I don't know what exercise it was from, but on my sides underneath my armpits I am totally sore! It feels good to finally be sore from exercise again! Also, he mentioned a couple times how strong I was when he had me doing different exercises and that felt really good and just reminded me how good I feel when I'm working on being fit and strong. I'm still working on the gym thing. I've visited and spoke to people at 3 different gyms and none of them fit the bill. The price was right at the first one, but they didn't really offer any classes. The second one was way to expensive and they had really old equipment and decor (think 70's teal carpet and bad wallpaper) and mostly focused on the classes they offered. The third price was ok, but they also didn't offer any classes. So, finally I think I'm going to settle on a Bally's that's a few miles from my place. I haven't visited it yet, but the price is right and they offer a number of classes. Since it's a "chain" fitness center I'm sure it will have newer equipment and decent amenities, so if all goes well I will be joining this gym this weekend.

Now onto the personal side of things. I mentioned a date I had a couple weeks ago. Going into the date I was nervous, but really looking forward to it. We decided to meet at the museum where he had a membership to get coffee and walk around a bit. While I was parking my car he called to let me know he had just gotten there and that was the first time we had actually spoke. Holy Batman did he have an accent! I thought he was hispanic and he lived in Dallas, so I was expecting possibly a Texas accent. Well it turns out he lived in Peru until he was 26! I park my car and walk in and I see him...and I'm a little disappointed. He's not a bad looking guy and I know it was a coffee date, but he was wearing old jeans an old t-shirt and old tennis shoes. I don't expect my date to go all out and dress to the nines, by any means, but I mean come on it's a first date and we're meeting at a museum. You could at least put on some nice jeans, a sweater and some half way decent shoes. Lol, god I'm sounding picky now. Anyway, that aside I thought he was cute and then he smiled and he had yellow teeth. Haha I'm sounding ridiculous. We went to get coffee and sat down and started chatting and the conversation was really easy, but there just wasn't any spark. We walked around and checked out the museum (I had never been) and it was comfortable, but I found myself keeping my hands in my pockets in case he would try to grab my hand or something...not a good sign obviously. Needless to say there was no second date. I think he could be a good friend, but nothing more so back to the drawing board!

Tonight I have some plans with a new friend. We met through a mutual friend a few weeks ago and really hit it off. We haven't gotten together since then, but she has a work Christmas party tonight (relatively casual at a mexican restaurant, so I think it will be low key) and I'm going to be her date. We're meeting up for a drink beforehand and then we'll head over to the party afterward. It should be a good time. She and I had a great time the last time we hung out dancing the night away, so I'm sure it'll be a blast. Plus it's another opportunity to meet new people and that's always a good thing.

Anyway, I better get to work. Have a great weekend everyone!

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

One Year Anniversary

This post is a day late, but it's my one year anniversary! Unfortunately my weight is the same as it was last time I weighed in, but I'm still proud. I'm proud that I've lost a decent amount of weight and I've kept it off. I'm much more aware of my choices and I make a conscious effort to make healthier choices. Obviously I still need to get that focus back so I can finish this journey that I'm on, but in the mean time I'm just happy to be this much better off than I was a year ago.

That said, I've got some other interesting news. I'm on a dating website called Match and I'm meeting up with someone for coffee this weekend. I am extremely nervous. Even though I lost a decent amount of weight I'm still not where I'd like to be and I still have that mindset where I worry if he'll think that I'm too fat. I know that's an awful way to think, but I just can't help it! The main reason I'm so nervous is because he seems like a great catch. He's the kind of guy you only hope would be interested in you. At least that's what comes across for me from his profile and the couple emails we've exchanged. He's tall, dark and handsome as they say. He's got a great smile, dimples (gotta love that)...and he's a doctor. Seriously?? Anyway, I'm sure you can see why I'm nervous.

On another note I had a great Thanksgiving. I got to see family I haven't seen in quite some time. It was just good to catch up with everyone. Living out of state I missed a lot of family functions, so it was nice to be a part of it again. I'm looking forward to my first Christmas back in WI. While I type it's lightly snowing outside. My dogs are whining, so I guess I better go take them outside. Have a great week!